It's been a good day today. its just feels so weird to be back again to Sweden during winter time after 5 years abroad. Its been crazy cold  minus 6 deegres and I went to Embassy of Pakistan in Stockholm to arrange my mothers visa, with my luck everything went well.

I’ve always been a pretty excitable person but I find myself more stimulated by just living life than ever before. I believe, more than ever, that you shouldn’t spend one second of one day cross with arguing, fighting or at odds with any person or situation that doesn’t directly affect your life or livelihood. That’s not to say don’t be passionate about what you do or believe in, just take a step back and look at the big picture from time to time; keep things in perspective.

I’m confident that the opportunities we have in this life are unmatched anywhere else in the  world, and more people should be thankful every day for the blessing and the privilege it Remember that the freedom we enjoy with every breath of every day came from the lives  of those who fought before us and that there are more struggling civilizations out there begging for a glimpse of the freedom that most of us take for granted everyday. We are a God fearing, giving, nation and it is our duty to help those in need.

Another day in another place, Whenever I open my eyes, there's always you in my mind and heart. Day and night without you, makes me to run away, but i can't I can feel this as well, I've been in the midst of a very challenging situation and sometimes there seems nothing good comes from making the decision that needs to be made, its still to depressing to want to deal with, but you seem to know the correct path to take and the best way to deal with your feelings....and I am never going to force my love for you and I am never going to come between you and your family...as I said many times before everyone in this life have a choice and if you not ready for that than sorry...No one can have any decision for your life.

I want you to know that this is for the best.  I don't want to regret anything and I don't want you to regret anything. I want you not to yearn for me, not to miss me or any feelings or events that we shared.  And I want you to know that this was the hardest thing for me to do.  This was the ultimate act of love for you.

I'm sorry for complicating your life and taking time away from your family and friends. I'll never forget you and I'll always miss you, but this is what's best for you and your family. I know that as you read this, you're wondering how and why this all happened so quickly.  Well, it's been on my mind for time now and I realized that it's either now or never.  I'm glad that I worked up the courage to begin doing it.  The reason is your family. 

I wish things could have worked out, but to persue that would have been incredibly selfish.  I hope you find another whom your parents adore.  I hope that you get the best of the best. Right now, I am leaving you.  I'm moving far, far away.  I'll miss you and things will be strange for a while, but I'll eventually adapt.  I hope that you will, too....

Another Day In My Life. Preparing and Packing for the road trip on the East Coast USA with Susanne. We start our road trip from New York and heading down to Miami there we will be celebrating New years eve and then going for a 4 days Caribbean Cruise Ports of Call: Fort Lauderdale, Florida | Georgetown, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands | Cozumel, Mexico.

Went last night to dinner with some old friends in Stockholm had a great time thanks to Janat  and Sussi for a great evening hopefully I see you soon again.

People come and go in our lifes,but with those precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

I have a list of folks I know all written in a book, And every now and then I go and take a look. That is when I realize these names, they are a part, not of the book they're written in but taken from the heart. For each Name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime, and in that meeting they have become the reason and the rhyme. Although it sounds fantastic for me to make this claim, I really am composed of each remembered name.

Although you're not aware of any special link,just knowing you, has shaped my life more than you could think. So please don't think my greeting as just a mere routine, your name was not forgotten in between.

For when I send a greeting that is addressed to you, it is because you're on the list of folks I'm indebted to. So whether I have known you for many days or few, in some ways you have a part in shaping things I do. I am but a total of many folks I've met,


When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us,we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures,have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares.

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream and not make dreams your master; If you can think and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same: If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools..

Just a usual day at work and the after noon was planned a visit to Stockholm and siminar with Robert Egnell, senior lecturer in war studies at the Military Academy, gave a description of the situation in  Afghanistan and how he sees the continuing international effort and Sweden's participation, the challenges,  opportunities and threats. It was an interesting seminar.

 The level of ambition of the international effort in Afghanistan has been reduced. The goal is no longer to create an open democracy and liberal market economy in the country, but that the situation will be satisfactory, "good enough". It noted Robert Egnell, Lecturer in War Studies, during a public lecture at the National Defence College on Wednesday night.

Many spectators had braved the winter chill to listen to Egnell when he gave his description of the situation in Afghanistan and the challenges for the Swedish contribution.
Parliament must decide 

The Swedish parliament will consider and decide on the further Swedish contribution in Afghanistan on 15 December. Earlier in the fall, visited Robert Egnell Afghanistan as the first Swedish representative in a group of invited scholars and opinion leaders, Tola (Tour of Opinion Leaders).

The international effort in Afghanistan is composed of the international security force ISAF, led by NATO and consisting of about 64 500 people from 42 countries, including Sweden, and the United Nations and various aid actors. 

Optimism on the ground According Egnell is today one of optimism among the players in place. But there is an optimism which also carries a risk.
- The players on the field now believe in what they do, "he said. It says "all input is Right", that all resources are applied in the operation is right. But one painting in this way himself into a corner. This means that you do not have a plan B. It is a gamble.

According Egnell's ambition to regain the initiative in the country and moving to a "momentum" regarding the security situation, in 20 11 begin the handover process to the Afghan authorities. Handover should be completed 2014th
- But what is missing is the reconstruction, particularly with regard to governance. And it is problematic because it means that legitimacy is not increased in the population. There are no signs that the Taliban weakened.
"The goals worth striving for"

The Swedish contribution, consisting of about 500 people, are mainly located in the northern parts of Afghanistan, with headquarters in the city of Mazar-i-Sharif. According Egnell, a region where the security situation is deteriorating. But although there are many challeng es for the Swedish contribution Egnell believe that Sweden should remain in the country.
- I think the goals of the intervention is worth striving for. In addition, there is considerable agreement among all stakeholders that we can just pull out jointly and in a relatively long term, "he said.

This is probably the toughest I am writing in my entire life. I start to think about all we had and how it turned this way... You disappointed me with what you did in the past and doing at this moment....to be honest nothing have changed...same shit over and over again...and things you done wasn't very classy of you we both deserve to be happy and I am NOT going to live a life far apart from the person I love more than anything and I am a person with potentials and goals in my life and no one is allowed to make me feel crap I just cant take it anymore..

I would always remember your goodness, consideration, thoughtfulness and the respect you have shown me throughout our time together. We never had any meaningful communications ever since we’ve known each other. But the brief moments when our paths cross created memories that will remain forever in my mind and heart.

We both have our own life now, whether by destiny, desire or accident. It is the vocation that we both choose to have. I’m sure you don’t regret it and very much happy with it. This I believe is my final goodbye; I have to learn to face the reality of that you belong to someone else.

I’m been the only one  who been trying to hang on. But, what ever the case, rest assured that you will always occupy a special place in my heart. Too many unanswered questions that will soon become just a part of our life long reflection.  Perhaps the answer is still yet to come. Maybe, there’s no answer at all. Only God knows what lay up ahead for us. Maybe there’s another cross road in our life where we will meet again. Perhaps that time, we will decide to choose the same path to travel. Perhaps, that time, we will be together once again in our journey in life.

it's like you always play the victim and am the one you  always blame..you  can hide behind your lies and  stories , but dont take me for a fool..In the end of day you are the one who is married and trying To have the cake and eat it also...Your husband and all your lovers can accept it BUT Never ever me!!! Are you getting cold feets now knowing that I will Make this happen and YOU don't know how to tell me that you can't? You know just what to do, And how to use the best of you To try and change my mind, But my eyes are opening this time And I read you Youre just so predictable In every way I want you to know I know your game..Its so unbelievable!! How you never change...but am tellin u "You wont get away"Coz things will never be the same..that wont happen to  me...

No no, Not Again..Now that I know your every move How you gonna hide baby what you gonna do Now that somebody knows the truth About you and how youre just so predictable.. On the first day that I met you I should've known to  walk away..

Everyone around me been keep telling me you not that one for me from DAY one.. But I never listend to know and let my heart to decide... Look what a mess a have  Thanks to you and your damn lifes which is based on lies from DAY one!! Instead i stood there  waiting. And hoping you would change..but i guess I was wrong in so many ways about YOU.

You can hide behind your  stories...You can tell me that there's nobody else but what about your husband ? You Cant tell me that you are home instead going out every night.YOU can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but i know, I know.. Your  love is just a lie!! (Lie, Lie,Drama, Lie) It's nothing but all  lie!! (Lie, Lie) I wana ask you..How does it feel when you break me over and over again do you  think about me when your husband or your so called "friends" kisses you...? or you sleeping next to your husband everyday..?

Answer me 4 God sake..Its all abig lie...whatever YOU  do.!!!. Coz I know you never ever loved me or Cared about me, coz if you would you would never ever treat me like This coz I been the one who always cared about you and loved you and always been on your side!! One day you are going to wake up feeling sorry..

But am telling you now You are just awaste of time...and its all a big show... keep hiding behind your  stories,, keep hiding behind yo ur lies,, But be carefull coz one day the game may turn on YOU..

My love for you were honest and truthful, and I was the more decieved, believing yours to be the same. I regret that you found our life together so unworthy and disgusting.  Please respect my wishes and do not send any apologies or platitudes. I do not believe a restoration of our realationship could occur, but if you have come to realize that your honor and heart require you to try,

I will try to grant you at least some of the opportunities you denied me. My promises, my love, and my vows mean that much to me.

I am writing about this rather than talking because there are some things I just don't seem to be able to talk to you about. In fact that's another real important reason why our relationship can't go on we just don't talk anymore, every conversations ends up in a fight and nothing is ever settled. So let's not torture each other anymore and just admit to each other it is over.

I truly believe that both of us will be happier just going our own ways. It's time to move on and put this relationship behind us. I hope that like me you will remember the good times we have had and not let are recent fights and arguments fill you with bitterness you shattered my dreams, my life and hopes. Now I can see you were just playing with my emotions and didn't really care about me at all.

All those romantic moments and intimate times did not mean a thing to you. I was just another conquest for you. I really want you to know how much you have hurt me with your cold and unfeeling actions. I would never have hurt you like this and have given you no reason to behave like this.

I really wish you the very best in all your endeavors and I hope you would find a better person who could really match what you are looking for. It is tough for me to tell you this in person and hence, I thought I would express my sincere intentions in words. I hope you find the one who can  accept and deal with everything in your life...

Perhaps you will find that I'm trying to justify my decision to move on. To alleviate my guilt of leaving this relationship. Maybe I'm and for that I'm truly sorry. But I also strongly believe that a person as special as you deserves someone who is just like her and treat her they way she treat others in her selfish way!

I've tried my best a thousand times to tell you what I wanted with you, at same time I've accepted a lot and same time been through loads of shit because of you but you never cared. Silent words across a screen how could they mean so much to me.I promised myself I would not cry.Then a silent tear falls from my eye. What did I do, what did I say....Everyday, I was waiting for a sign To let me know, you might still want to be mind. Andother day comes and goes nothing really happens everything she says is just a big lies, like her love, her promises to me and everything you ever expressed how you feel about me....just LIES!

Why did you say you loved me? Then turn around and set me free? I love you and want you, But I know I can't make you love me or be with me when you cant. All the words you said to me, That seemed to be so true. Were nothing but thoughtless lies, That I thought would never come from you. They seemed so real and seemed so true. I was begining to think that you really loved me But I should of known it was all an act, That I was just another part.Just another person to add To your list of broken hearts...

Sometimes I am tired of dreams. I wish that one, just one in the form of love will awaken me and so I keep on trying, I keep on believing, I feel like I keep on dreaming.

One day, one night, maybe, maybe I will live a dream with YOU my dear special for the rest of my life and then I will know that my life is/was truly fulfilling and happy. Without love, is life a dream that never comes true?

I gathered my strength, closed my eyes and smiled as I recalled those sweet memories we had. I whispered your name to sleep and that I would hold on to that because I know, I just know that reality is playing a trick on me. Once in a while I got news from you and nothing could be better than that. The words that you have said, the times that we have spent, mean the whole world to me. I believe in love, I believe in romance, i believe in you, I believe in us... and I trust you. I love you.At times I feel all alone as if part of me is missing I know you are still there but so very far away sometimes I imagine you are here talking to me about all the things we used to do together It is so hard to have you so far away from me I just want to be able to give you a hug or cry on your shoulder and be able to share the special moments I have Until I see you again I hold you close to my heart always...I love you

I know is hard the road we have choose, our paths even that are in the same route go in separate lines, but our souls are together,  I know is very hard for you tobe always away from me, but you are not because you are  always in my mind and in my heart,  I know you feel lonely when you have to be in this trips,  but you know I am there with you in your company,  yes! I understand  is hard to be faithful in your line of work,  and even there you have proved yourself again and again to me,  so why should I falter,  love is patient, love is understanding, love is forgiving,  and I know you are not  perfect but a human with flaws, but then even your flaws  make you beautiful.

We have a duty to humanity to show them that love exist , that there is love in this world, but to teach love, we  must experience and know how to love,  "Soul Mate" will open new doors to people to experience this quality of love, keep working , keep doing what you  do best, that you have always my love and devotion,  and never forget that I love you and I will be here for  when you come back, and I am also there next to you when you dream, I am always with you! 

I love you forever!I thank God each time I wake up in the morning for allowing me to breathe the air one more time in life and to let me love you still, today. Your presence in my life has given me hope and made me believe that true love still exist in the world, at least still exist inside of me.

When we first met, I bet none of us knew that we would share such a great time together eventually fall in love.At least it never occurred to me until one day i woke up and realized that I am deeply in love with you. Everything comes so naturally that I thought Fate had planned for us to be together. Allow me to reminisce the moments that we had together, those unforgettable moments......

You said you loved me, you said you cared, but when I turn around you are not there. I waited for you long enough you put me through hell and never gave up. You pushed and pulled and played with my heart the moment you said we will never be apart, now I am looking at you dead in your eyes and all along you were telling me lies. I'll never forget what you put me through but sure enough you'll want me to come back through. In the end, just to let you know I'll always love you rain, sleet, or snow.

You are living a fake life when you smile and there is nothing to smile about, and You telling me everyone knows about us? Why the hell make up lies about who you talk with in phone...I am sick and tired of all this...and I cant do this anymore!

You are living a fake life when you have to cover your pains and sorrows. You are living a fake life when you hang out with friends, and at the end of the day, you do not gain anything substantial from their company. You are living a fake 'make-belief' when they feel you are the 'light' of the party,' yet when you get back home at night you feel you are at a loss, all alone and sunken, with no soul-mate lying next to you at night. In other words, your life is fake when you place priority on the wrong things.... I know you don’t see my pain, as me and you are not the same. You live in a world that is sick, you cant see you hurting me and hurting people around you.  

I often wonder what goes on in your head, why such an evil live you’ve led? What gives you the rite to take my sanity? I guess we’ll never be the same, as you, your playing a sick twisted game. You cannot just come and barge in like nothing You cannot hurt me anymore...Thoose days are over. I don’t want any more scars in my chest I have the strength to say no to your loving words So please go away and never turn back.

How can I hurt so much because I can't have you, when you were never mine to have. How can I want you when you belong to some one else. With each breath I take I seem to love you more. With each passing day i wish for the impossible. Yet while my heart was freely given to you, i hold onto spirit, but then again you posses that to.  

And in my heart There holds the hope Of a beautiful white dove But until that time Could be again I’ll just say… Goodbye My Love

People Come Into Your Life for a Reason True friendship should not be taken for granted, nor should they be lost and irretrievable. Have you stopped to think lately how blessed you are at this moment? Your station in life is because of where God has placed you for a time such as this, despite the things that you may ascertain that are deemed trials or other tribulations.

Even so, the journey has not been traversed alone. Your bandwagon had many occupants and with many stops along the way and so have mine. We are here together at this place where fate governed our destiny. On a personal note, I know for a fact that I'm where I'm at now in my life because of those that God has put in my life for influential value.

The friends that I've ushered in and cultivated...even those that have drifted away from me -- I know too, that we've had our moments. Think about acquaintances you've come in contact with, people that have been introduced to you, and the friends that have come and gone in your life.

I'm reminded more often than not how discernible options can fuel deductive reasoning, logic and common sense in knowing that not all people are my cup of tea -- or coffee, for that matter!

I dont know where to begin...its been so much lately You know I am tired of saying  I'm sorry I'm tired of always having to be in the wrong I’m tired of fighting for what  has been lost in the past. I’m tired of being the one who can’t sleep at night coz I am so worried about you.

The one who always has to care I’m tired of having to beg for your forgiveness over and over again even thought I havent done anything wrongs... I’m tired of saving a thought for you each time I doubt that you’re thinking of me too…I’m tired of never knowing where you stand Or what it is we have...  I’m tired of selflessly making these efforts

But I can’t help but remember the way You and I used to be together The plans we made the jokes we’d share Like our love was bound to last forever… And I remember how we used to enjoy  Every single chance we had, just you
and I There was no one and nothing that could come between us Remember me catching the tears you’d cry…

Remember you promised to never leave me far… But I am also tired of remembering Because those good memories  sure can hurt I want to hold on but can’t bear to live through again My shattered heart being dragged through the dirt… So I will push aside what I remember of us Into the darkest corner of my lonely mind And when you come back looking for  your love...You will find a tired heart who tried...

I always thought we'd grow old together.Facing each new day. But now, in the tears that fall upon my face. Your memory fades away. In my bedroom, surrounded by empty walls. I want to scream and shout. My mouth opens,
but the tortured words... Just won't come out. My heart bleeds.Your love is like salt on an open wound.

Reminding me you once were here in my life.Warm like the blood in my veins. The love I had for you, so dear. Sorry I loved you so. And you didn't feel the same.  When I think of what could have been. What a waste! Such a shame!

Stone by stone, I'll re-build my life.I'm stronger when hardest hit. I know only to well. This is the time I must never  quit. My conscious asks the question. I long to hear. Is the grass really greener on the other side? My conscious asks the question. I will always fear...